Promises

 Yesterday I discussed trauma bonding for #mentalhealthawarenessmonth on instagram @tori__gaines
I wrote this poem to someone I had to let go of a while back. A #traumabond I had to break before I even understood what they were. 

At the time I didn't understand why it hurt to let go, and why it was imperative that I did so with this particular person. I remember being accepting of it only when I realized it was good for THEIR healing to separate from me, it wasn't until later that I learned how much I needed the space. The first few times I reread this poem, it felt like the ramblings of a sobbing mess of a human (which it is…), but it’s nonsensical in a way that makes sense? (rather Dada sentence)

Yesterday I read this article , written by Concepción de León for the New York Times, while researching trauma bonds, and suddenly this poem became so clear.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/18/books/review/how-to-rewire-your-traumatized-brain.html

Ms. de León’s process of recovering from childhood sexual trauma rang true for me as well, and it immediately brought me back to this poem. The book she references is a must read for many of us navigating the daily repercussions of SA. I feel a peace knowing yet another person has SURVIVED this, a deep sadness that it ever happens to anyone, and a furious desire to stop this cycle from repeating itself in our world.

I’m thankful for brave people like Ms. de León, and thankful that I can also say to myself, “You’re safe. I’m here for you now.”